Humor in Conflict Resolution
by Sam Imperati
Conflict is inevitable. Humor can be a surprisingly powerful tool to prevent, manage, and resolve it.
As John Stewart said in his last monologue, “Bull$&^! is everywhere.” He called on his viewers to fight against it and left us with these parting words, “I say to you tonight, friends, the best defense against bull$^!& is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.” The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. https://time.com/3988497/jon-stewart-daily-show-finale-rant-bullshit/
HOW DO YOU “SAY SOMETHING:” I’ve been involved in thousands of disputes, some of which I probably started if the truth be told! I’ve often used humor to help solve them. I even won a stand-up comedy competition, albeit among lawyers!
HUMOR IN MEDIATION WORKS BECAUSE IT:
1) Relieves tension during awkward or tense moments;
2) Replaces negativity with positivity, fostering solutions;
3) Reduces stress and promotes creative problem-solving;
4) Encourages honesty and openness; and
5) Unlocks creativity and fresh perspectives.
PRACTICAL HUMOR TIPS:
- Point out inconsistencies tactfully. Give the parties a way out with dignity, the WOWD factor. (No one agrees if they can’t save face.)
- Use self-deprecating humor. Target yourself to create a cooperative space. (It shows humility and builds trust.)
- Find shared laughs for the parties. Spontaneous humor born of shared experiences strengthens relationships. (It’s all about connection!)
- Ease the humanization process. Laughter reminds everyone of their shared humanity. (It’s hard to demonize someone when you laugh with them.)
- Bring hope with levity. Light moments inspire optimism for the future. (People won’t change if they don’t believe in the solution.)
BOTTOM LINE: Humor in mediation works. Try it.
CALL TO ACTION: How have you used humor when mediating? Share your go-to one-liners or stories via email. SamImperati@ICMresolutions.com. The best submission wins a copy of The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, my new favorite book. But wait, there’s more. You get fame!
SELECTION: NOON on March 1, 2025.
Trust me, I’m a lawyer! 😊